Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?

As I’ve already mentioned, I was an agnostic in my youth.  It wasn’t always that way.

I was raised as a Baptist.

Southern Baptist even.

But here’s the thing, organized religion often pisses me off.

One of the reasons I decided I didn’t need religion was because I couldn’t stand the hypocritical folks who thought it was their job to tell everyone else how to live.

I figured between them and the atrocities done in the name of God, I just didn’t need that kind of thing in my life.

But here’s the truth about me: I do believe.  I believe because I have had more than one experience where when I needed an answer, I got one; where when I needed a boost, I got one.

To me, there’s a difference between blind faith and recognizing that there is a need for the mystical in life.  For example, my daughter is a miracle.

As I’ve said before, we were doomed from the start.  I had so many things against me getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term.  And then you add in Moo’s issue and it just looked like having a pregnancy at all was completely impossible.

But a miracle occurred.  I got pregnant.  I stayed pregnant.  I had a beautiful little girl.

It may just sound like biology – I mean, boy meets girl, inserts tab A into slot B and shakes vigorously and 40 weeks later, there’s a baby!  It’s Human Reproduction 101.

But in our case, when there were so many odds against us, it’s just amazing.

And it’s these amazing things that I see every day that add to my faith.

I’m still not crazy about organized religion.  We don’t have an official church right now.  But I want one.

I was raised in a nice church with nice people.  Oh there were assholes there who are part of the reason I turned my back on religion, but there are also nice religious people.

My husband is one.

My best friend introduced me to Moo about 12 years ago.  The first thing KR told me was that Moo was very religious.  I didn’t find that to be necessarily so, but Moo did prove to me that not all religious people are assholes.

When I met Moo’s parents and more importantly, attended one of Moo’s dad’s Sunday school lessons, I understood that Moo came through his own faith partly because of his family.  They are nice people, but also people of great faith. And they are definitely not assholes.

So what am I looking for in a church AKA organized religion?  I want a church that does less to be all fire and brimstone and more about teaching me to live my best life as a Christian.  Less judgment, more encouragement.  Less formal and more rock and roll.

I also want a nice place for my daughter to learn about God and Jesus.  More about love and acceptance and service and fellowship with other believers and less fear and judgment.

I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

----------------------------------------------------

If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage

My thoughts are precisely this.

Who the Hell am I to tell you who to love?

I was blessed with meeting Moo, who I fell in love with at first sight.  I honestly believe that he and I were destined by God to be together.  I honestly believe that we were meant for one another.

Who the Hell am I to tell two guys or two girls that they aren’t meant for one another cuz they have the same parts?

If you listen carefully, you’ll figure out that this is my answer to a lot of questions…

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If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something

When I was in my early 20’s, in a fit of logic, I decided I was agnostic.

I’d been through some hellish days and had decided that there couldn’t possibly be a God that cared for us right here and now.  Maybe there had been in the past, but not at that moment.

I showed complete contempt for religious types and mocked them behind their back.  I was in college so I was in pretty good company as others were going through their own philosophical discoveries.

But you know what?  I felt pretty superior to folks but it didn’t make me feel better.  It didn’t make the pain of my situation any better.  But as you’ve gathered from my other writings, I’m pretty stubborn and I wasn’t ready to give up my agnostiscm. 

I went on feeling this way until a former friend of mine passed on a book called ' target=_blank>A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

It didn’t insult my intelligence or force me to believe something I wasn’t ready to, instead it pointed me in a different direction.  It showed me Christianity from a different point of view.

I’ll be talking more about religion in a couple of days…

----------------------------------------------------

If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without

I love Coca-Cola. 

Really.

It’s like the best thing in the world to me.

But I need to learn to live without it.

When I was pregnant with Phoebe and got the Gestational Diabetes diagnosis, I cut back from a 3 coke a day habit to a 1 coke a day.  I was drinking so much water that I didn’t really miss it.  I’d get my one coke and enjoy it with my evening snack and just really ENJOY it.

After she was born, I didn’t really start back up on the 3 a day.  In fact, unless I’m sick, I hardly want them.

This pregnancy, I decided to cut them out almost entirely.  I bought one six pack about a month ago and I’ve still got 3 of them.

They are carbs and calories I just don’t need.

But again, I’m reminded of talking to my mother about her smoking.  She knew smoking was bad for her, but she enjoyed smoking.

I enjoy Cokes.  I love the sweetness.  I love the sharpness of the carbonation.  I love the way they fizzle as you pour them over ice.

Someone once described addiction to me as they were always trying to experience the high they felt the first time they got high, but could never quite reach it again.

Coke is and isn’t like that.  It is good nearly every time.  I am rewarded the taste every single time I drink one.

I enjoy it.  But it’s bad for me.

I need to live without them.

 

----------------------------------------------------

If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without

Didn’t we already answer this one?

Oh well.. something I couldn’t live without…

Laughter.

Last night, during a fit of incredibly painful pregnancy induced leg cramps, I got through one bout by making myself laugh.

The story is that my dad had arthritis in his feet.  This in itself is not funny.  It also isn’t funny that when he would first stand up after sitting or sleeping, his feet would hurt.  What IS funny is that he wouldn’t say “Damn my feet hurt” or “OW OW OW OW!” – instead, he would say “Feet!  Feet!  FEET!”

First million and a half times this happened, my mother or I would express concern, he’d work through the pain and go on about his day.

Somewhere in there, we decided to turn it into a joke.  Not at his expense.  We weren’t laughing at him.  We were actually trying to distract him.

So he’d start with his “Feet!  Feet!  FEET!” chant and I or mom would say “Elbow! Elbow! ELBOW!” or “Belly button!  Belly button!  BELLY BUTTON!” or something similarly silly and we’d all start laughing.

So last night, I stood up during one particularly bad cramp and said “FEET!” and then started laughing cuz I remembered.

----------------------------------------------------

If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself


Day 14: A hero that has let you down

Yet another tough one.

I am most disappointed with our President Barak Obama. 

Several months before he started running for president, I read his book.  I’d seen him speak at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and that just made me want to read his book, Dreams from My Father'>Dreams of My Father and I thought it was brilliant.  I later read his next book, The Audacity of Hope ' target=_blank>The Audacity of Hope, and again, I thought him and his work, brilliant.

Here was a leader who could represent EVERYONE and who, I thought, could use his words and history in a way that would draw people together.

I underestimated the people however.  I underestimated the smear campaign that would start.  I underestimated the prejudice that still exists in our culture.  And I overestimated Mr. Obama.

I still think he is completely brilliant.  I still believe that he has the ability to bring people together, but I feel like he has also underestimated the people who would bring him down into the dirt with them.

I feel sometimes, if he would stand up and use that brilliant voice of his to STAND THE HELL UP to the naysayers; to STAND THE HELL UP to the people who call him a Muslim, to STAND THE HELL UP to the people who call him a Socialist. 

I’ve shamed a number of people from calling him a Muslim… I point to these folks, that if this man, with an atheist father and an agnostic mother and a Muslim step-father, educated in a largely Muslim country, set foot into their church and wanted to join, that they would shake his hand and welcome him into the fold.  The minister would rejoice that a soul was saved.  The entire congregation would sing Hallelujah for “bringing in the sheep”… And if he’s anything like any of the converts I’ve known, he’d eventually be teaching Sunday school.

Most the folks calling him a Socialist don’t even know what a Socialist is.. they only know what they’ve been told.  Most of the folks who are arguing with him are doing it purely because he is different.

But I’m not here to defend him.  Truth is, I had this idea that he would be more like Bill Clinton but smarter and maybe with fewer scandals dragging him down.  Instead he’s more like Carter – dealing with some heavy crap, but doesn’t want to point fingers or get down on the level of the naysayers.

Instead, he needs to take a page from TDR (Theodore Delano Roosevelt for the non-political science majors out there) – talk softly, but carry a big-ass stick.

----------------------------------------------------

If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times

Man these questions just keep getting weirder and harder!!

When I was 12 years old, I discovered a band called Duran Duran. Their music was catchy and their videos were cutting edge and they were all delicious. Delicious to my budding hormones at least.

I was a diehard Durannie (what Duran Duran female fans are called) for a solid 5 years.

At first, I was passionately in love with Simon Le Bon.. he was roguish and fun!

Then it was the dreamy Nick Rhodes – who wore more makeup than I did.

Then it was the brooding John Taylor, the tall dark and handsome one…

This is the poster I had in my room during these years.. DREAMY!!!




I can’t say that they got me through rough times, but they had a good bit of influence in my life. Those years were years of a lot upheaval in my life – family and personal illnesses, family disagreements, my parents in the nasty part of their marriage, etc.

They were a kind of stabilizing force in my life. I could be having a bad day and I could go in my room, turn on some music and get away from the crap.

I don’t know why I stopped being a Durannie.. maybe because that’s about the time the guys in the group started going off on solo projects?



Maybe I moved on to something else? Like the luscious Trent Rezor… mmmmm… I’ve had a “thing” for tall, dark and handsome for a long time… LOL




----------------------------------------------------




If you want to play along with this list, here’s the list of topics:




Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself


Day 12: Something you never get compliments on

I’ve never gotten a compliment on my feet.

Wait, my husband says I have cute feet but he’s biased.

Truth is that I have ugly feet.  They are absurdly large.  I have a boss toe (meaning the toe next to my big toe is longer than my big toe) and my big toe is GIGANTIC.


Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on

Purses and sunglasses!

I am always complimented on my purse or my sunglasses.  I have this little knack for picking out cute purses.  Since Phoebe was born, I don’t have a lot of opportunities to carry a purse since I hate carrying a purse AND a diaper bag.

But I LOVE purses.

And since I am near-sighted, I really need glasses to drive.  Since I mostly drive during the day, I’m always sure to have a pair of cute prescription sunglasses in the car. 

I’m not much of a clothing hound – mostly sticking with my “Manda suit” of black pants and some top… but I love my purses and my sunglasses.


Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know

Another tough one.. and this one, I have no idea.

There are plenty of people that I need to forgive (see day 4) but I can’t really seeing myself completely letting them go.  Afterall, they ARE family, whether they acknowledge me or not.

Maybe I do need to let them go.  Maybe when I can finally forgive them for what they did to me, I can just let them go.

It’s something to think about…