My kid is so talented

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Lies my mother told me.. part 1 of a million

There is not a screw in my belly button that keeps my butt from falling off.

There is no way that potatoes can grow between my toes.

A rat named Herbie does not live in my hair causing snarls.

Speaking into my ear does not echo.

A swallowed apple seed will not sprout into a full grown tree.  Doesn’t work with watermelon seeds either.