Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Had my parents lived and not divorced, they would have been married 39 years today.

Don't let anyone fool you. The divorce of your parents at any age is difficult. I was 29 when my parents got divorced and it was rough on all of us.

Truthfully, I don't know why they stayed married as long as they did. They got married September 20, 1968 in the living room of my Uncle Larry and Aunt Bunny. They separated June 1998 after my grandmother passed away and divorced December 1999.

On their first anniversary, my father asked my mother what she wanted as an anniversary present to which my mom responded "A divorce". A scant month later, I was on the way and my mom's request wasn't granted.

The first decade of their marriage was passionate. They fought a lot and they loved a lot. I still remember seeing my dad kissing my mom. The second decade, it's like the love was gone. They fought constantly and viciously. The threat of divorce was ever present. However, in the last decade, they mellowed and were more like roommates than a married couple.

I think that deep down, they did love each other. When my dad died in 2002, my mom was grieved. She wanted to go to the service both to support me and to honor my father. But she felt, rightly so, that my dad's family would be nasty to her and she really didn't want to cause a scene.

A few days before she died, mom was in the middle of one the last periods when she was awake and sort of making sense. The cancer had reached her brain and most of the time, she was pretty addled. She was talking to me and Moo when suddenly she said "Your dad went to the store and he's been gone a really long time. I wonder when he'll be back?" My dad had been dead for almost 2 years at this point and I did what any person would do. I told her he was ok and that he had run into someone he knew and was talking - something that my dad did on a regular basis. She said, "Well go tell him to hurry on up home." I told her I'd go tell him and I left the hospice for the evening. I prayed as I went home that my dad was watching out for her.

Happy anniversary momma and daddy... I miss you both so much.


(warning: Poop will be discussed in this entry. If you are quesy or unable to read about other's pooping habits, please turn back now)

I started taking Metformin AKA Glucophage this morning. Per my previous post, my OB/GYN thinks that most of my issues are from PCOS and PCOS as we've learned is the probable reason for my weird periods, lack of ovulation and long luxurious beard.

Metformin is a drug that you do not want to start suddenly. Per WebMD - the greatest medical website for hypochondriacs like me - side effects may include:
"Nausea, stomach upset, diarrhea, or a metallic taste in the mouth may occur at first as your body adjusts to the medication."

So, right now, I'm nauseous, have pooped 3 times this morning and have a weird metallic taste in my mouth - kinda like I've been sucking on aluminum foil all morning.

I think i'm nauseous mostly because of the metallic taste. It's nasty and even a Coke - my beloved drug of choice - isn't covering up the taste very well.

As for the poop, it would seem that my body is teleporting poop from 3 other people. The total poop output is WAY more than the food input. And this isn't the type of diarhea that you think you can just poop a couple times and then be done with it. This is the type of poop that you hold on and brace for impact. The type of poop that you wonder what will pass from your nether regions.

Funny as Hell

Funny as hell

Knowing is half the battle...

I got a call from my OB/GYN office today. It was the nurse for my gyno. They got my blood work results from the 21 day progesterone tests. It appears that I am not ovulating.

The first step in all this is to start Metformin - otherwise known as Glucophage. It's a drug primarily for Diabetes treatment, but there's been a good bit of success in using it with PCOS patients (I wanted to say "victims").

I took Metformin for about 3 days a couple of years ago when my internist suggested it. I didn't take it with food and I also began taking it 3 a day. the resultant upset stomach made me stop it. I've since found that you should take it with food and should ramp up - taking 1 pill a day, then 2 then finally 3 instead of abruptly just taking all of it!

They're gonna do this for about 3 months and then we'll add Clomid for 2-3 months. If that doesn't work, they'll refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist. I already know who they'll refer me to, but I know that I want to go to another guy instead.

They've also advised me that the loss of even 20 pounds would drastically help my chance of fertility. Since I've been losing weight on my own now for a few weeks, I'll begin ramping up my work.

At first, I felt depressed. It was confirmation that I was a failure. But then, I realized that this is a chance to make a real change, both in my health and in my chances for a healthy pregancy.