Christmas Wishes

This Christmas is a little tight.  Santa’s bringing the kids store-bought presents but we’re giving everyone else goody bags with homemade yummies and stuff.

I made my Grandmother’s Fruit Cake.  I know what you’re thinking: “Fruit cake?  Does it work as a door stop?”  And in most cases, you’d be right.  But this is Ice Box Fruit Cake.

Sorry, you won’t be getting that recipe.  My grandmother gave it to me and made me promise not to share.  I think my cousins have the recipe too, so go ask them.

The kids saw the really good Santa this year.  This particular Santa is so popular that he is by appointment only AND you have to pay a $15 sitting fee.  $10 is applied to your photo order.

Phoebe, of course, clammed right up.  Griffin lost his ever-lovin’ mind.

As seems to be usual now, Christmas is kind of a bummer.  I’m working really hard to be happy.  But this is the time of year that I miss my parents the most.  I also find myself missing a lot of other folks too. 

When I was a kid, Christmas was a huge 2 day deal.  Christmas Eve, we’d get together with my mom’s brother and his family and open a few presents and my parents would make steak sandwiches.  Christmas day would start at our house with Santa and then either we’d host or my aunt would host the big meal and we’d have tons of food and the booze would be free-flowing.  There was almost always a fight or argument. 

I get sad because almost all those people are gone now and the rest have scattered.  John says that we need to build our own traditions and he is right. 

So I am going to spend the next year deciding how I can keep Christmas in my heart.  Santa and I had a conversation about some fun stuff and I think Phoebe will love her Christmas morning.

Meanwhile, I hope you have a magical Christmas.

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Slow Cooker Tortilla Soup

This is seriously good soup.  So good that every time I make it, I am amazed that I can make something this good.  It tastes at least as good as any restaurant’s Tortilla soup (I’m looking at you Barrel of the Cracker). 

This was born of curiosity and the beginnings of another recipe.  It started as a recipe on A Year of Slow Cooking and I was curious about how such a simple recipe could taste so good.  But John said, “I think this would be better as soup”.  So I added some chicken broth.  And then I decided it didn’t have quite the right flavor, so I added the chili powder and garlic salt.  Those three ingredients add a richness and depth that is wonderful!

Ingredients

• 2-3 Chicken Breasts
• 2 Jars Salsa
• 2 Cans Black Beans (rinsed, drained)
• 16 oz Frozen Corn
• 32 oz chicken broth
• 1 tbsp Garlic powder
• 1 tbsp Chili powder
• Sour Cream (optional)
• Tortilla Chips (optional)
• Shredded cheese (optional)

Instructions

1. Spray crock pot with nonstick spray.
2. Trim fat off the chicken breast.
3. Place chicken breast at the bottom of the crock pot.
4. Pour salsa, black beans, and corn on top of the chicken breast.
5. Sprinkle with garlic powder and chili powder.
6. Pour chicken broth over all of it.
7. Cover and cook on high for 6-8 hours.
8. Take chicken out of the bottom of the crock pot and shred with a fork.
9. Mix chicken back into the beans/corn/salsa/ mixture.
10. Serve with sour cream and tortilla chips and cheese.

I served this the first time by crumbling chips into the bottom of the bowl, pouring soup over, then topping with sour cream and cheese.  Now I let everyone put their own bowls together.  I personally like to sprinkle the broken chips in a`little at a time so they stay crispy as I eat.  John doesn’t use the sour cream or cheese.

I also have to note that I cook this in a 5.5 quart slow cooker and it is “lippin’ full” so you might want to use a larger pot.  Additionally, I always use 3 chicken breasts because we eat this two nights.  It makes a LOT of soup.

And no, Phoebe doesn’t like this.  She loves the chips and salsa I put out though.

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I get sick almost every Halloween

A few days ago, I decided that I was starting to react to the autumnal pollen.  So I did what every reasonable person who is allergic to damn near everything did: I decided that was a good time to sweep the back porch covered in said polleny wonder.

Now I do have to admit that I was having some of MOMS Club friends over for a scrapbook session and the kids would be playing during this.  I knew that letting the kids run on the porch would be something they could do to run off some energy.  We were having nice weather and the kids loved the porch.

Next morning, which happened to be Wednesday, my voice sounded like I’d smoked about 4 packs of cigarettes before 10 am but I still felt ok.  Just a little tired.

By the next day, Thursday, however, I decided that I had seriously screwed up.  My nose was completely blocked and my throat was irritated and again with the raspy voice…

I needed to feel better fast.  Friday was going ot be action packed.  I had a purse party in the morning and John’s work was hosting their annual Halloween party for the kids.

Every year, this place has a seriously awesome party for the employee’s kids and this year, the employees were decorating all of the meeting rooms.  After hearing about the plans that John’s group had, I really wanted to see it.

I ended up missing the morning party much to my chagrin but at least my finances were happy.  I would have spent too much money as I LOVE purses.  But I needed to make an appearance at John’s party with the kids in costume.

I had never dressed up before but always got Phoebe dressed up but then John didn’t usually dress up either. This year, he was dressing up and I didn’t want to be left out.

Things I learned:

1. It is a challenge to get two kids dressed in costume – especially if you are alone when attempting this.
2. It is an even bigger challenge if you plan to costume yourself as well as two young children.
3. Fake blood takes a bloody long time to dry and will get all over EVERYTHING
4. My kids are more freaked out about the wig cap that goes on under the wig than the wig itself.
5. It is difficult to get a 3 year old in a ball gown clipped into a car seat.  The skirt is very fluffy and really gets in the way.
6. People pay no attention to people driving down the road.  They also pay no attention to a lady driving an SUV, covered in blood and seemingly being attacked by birds while driving down the street.
7. The few people who do pay attention will take a picture of you on their phone – while they drive down the road.

So we had a great time at the party and then we stopped at Varsity which has the best burger anywhere and the most fabulous chocolate milk in the world.

When we got home, I immediately went to bed but didn’t stay there.  I had developed a horrible cough and the only way I could sleep was sitting up.  Thank goodness for our recliner.  I slept there for a couple of nights before finally breaking down and going to the doc.

Sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis.  YAY!  I am an overachiever.

I’m beginning to feel better but the kids have gotten a little bit of it too.  They have a little bit of a cough and are a little stuffy but it seems to be getting better.

That’s how we’re doing, how about you?

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Happy Birthday Daddy

My dad would have been 71 today.  This picture is from 1976.  My dad is the middle with the lady on his lap.  The lady is my great grandmother.  The other man is my uncle Jim.

He would have loved my kids.  The man seriously loved babies.

The most vivid dream I've ever had came about two weeks after he passed away.  I honestly don’t know if it was a dream or if I was meeting him at the Great Starbucks in the sky.

He and I were meeting in a beautiful room with a tall ceiling and a wall completely covered in greenery. One wall was all windows and it looked out over a beautiful lake. 

He sat across from me with a cup of coffee in a simple mug.  I remember crying in the dream.

He asked me why I was crying.  I said that it was because he was gone and I couldn’t talk to him.

He told me that I could talk to him whenever I liked, I just might not get a direct answer.

“Besides,” he said, “you wouldn’t want me back the way I was.  I was so sick.  Think of me like you remember me when you were just a little fart.”

So today, I’m trying to think of my daddy the way he asked in that dream.  I am trying to remember him calling me “little fart” or telling me that we were having “a bait of boiled buttholes” for dinner.

I’m trying to not remember the harsh words spoken between us or the almost violent arguments we would get into.  I’m trying not to remember the ache of not being able to argue with him about religion or politics.

I know that when I tell him I love him today that he will hear me.

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How to make caramel apples

1. Purchase caramel apple kit.
2. Line cookie sheet with wax paper.  Ready plastic wrap to wrap your delicious creations.
3. Follow directions on package to melt caramel.
4. Push sticks into apples.  Nearly lose eye when one stick breaks and splinters fly through air.
5. Pick up apple on a stick.  Apple slips off stick.  Put apple back on stick.  Repeat.  Swear with great creativity. Figure out how to angle apple so it won’t fall off stick.
6. Dip into sauce that is now hotter than molten lava.
   Swear obscenely when stick comes out of apple leaving apple bobbing in viscous goo.  Go find the mother effin’ tongs.
7. Realize you’ve destroyed tongs because you found preschooler using them to mess with "things" in toilet.  Find the salad spoons instead.
8. Use salad spoons to dig apples out of caramel sauce that is now hotter than the sun.  Sauce drips off of salad spoons and onto your pants leaving a blister the size of your hand.  Swear loudly enough that the neighbors think there’s some sort of domestic situation at your house and call police.
9. Repeat process with remaining apples and/or say to “hell with it” and go buy caramel apples at grocery store.
10. Enjoy!

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Stupid Easy BBQ

Today on our meal plan is BBQ sandwiches.  I recently discovered the delights of pork loin.  I say that I don’t particularly like pork but the truth is that I like pork loin, pork chops and bacon.  I’m not adverse to the occasional ham either.  I don’t like pork roast though.  In my experience, it’s been a greasy mess and seems heavy.  I’m not sure I’ve ever even had pork loin until recently but my in-laws had it...

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October’s Meal planning

I was inspired to share this with all of you this month.  I was reading one of my favorite once a month cooking websites and she shared her own meal plan.  Now granted I’m not cooking tons of this at once but I am doing a little bulk cooking.  My October Meal Plan Chicken Tacos Breakfast for dinner BBQ Sandwiches Leftover BBQ Homemade Pizza Grilled Chicken Burritos Baked Potatoes with the fixin’s OUT...

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My Philosophy of Life

I have philosophies or sayings that I generally try to live my life by.

The first comes from a legendary movie.

Go that way. Really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

The second is incredibly simple.

Don’t be an asshole.

I hear you. “But Amanda, I’m not an asshole".

You might be.  Do you:

• Not pay attention to your surroundings or could care less that you’re in sync with others?
• Live your life in a tremendous hurry despite other people’s needs and wants?
• Routinely back into people either on foot or on wheels (car)?
• Completely disregard the needs of others?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are an Asshole.

I don’t mean that you have to live your life serving others or constantly allowing others and their needs to be more important than your own.  What I mean is that you are a considerate human being – that you consider the needs and wants of those around you and how you can accomplish your wants and needs without trampling others.

Standing in line at the grocery store with a full buggy and there’s a person behind you with 4 items?  Let them in front of you.  It won’t take but a moment for them to complete their transaction and it will give you a bit more time to unload your buggy.

You are in a quiet restaurant when suddenly your young child decides to melt down?  Do you:

• Yell at your child to quit it? 
• Finish eating your meal and carrying on your conversation?
• Do you walk the child out the door while requesting a doggy bag for the remainder your dinner?

If you answered with anything other than the last option or some variation of it, you are an asshole.

Other people do not want to listen to your squalling child.  Eating out is expensive and after you factor in a babysitter, you’ve spent a small fortune.  This is precisely why many restaurants are in the news lately because they’ve adopted a “no children” policy.  Do they hate kids?  Probably not.  They are customer friendly. 

Practicing basic consideration would make this world a better place to live in.  If we all thought for one instant before we took any action as to how we affect those around us, we would all be a lot happier.

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Broken Wings and Stranger Things

10 days ago, I found myself in the worst place a parent can imagine: the emergency room with an injured child.

It started earlier that evening.  I was cooking dinner, John was holding the baby and Phoebe was The Pink Tornado.  This is a term coined by one of John’s friends regarding her own preschool age child but it fits Phoebe so well that I’ve stolen it.

Like most three year olds, Phoebe is in perpetual motion.  She’s running here, scampering there, dancing around and jumping up and down.  She’s also moody and can be crying one moment and laughing the next.  She trips over her own feet and more often than not says “I’m ok!” before I can even ask.

She also has the annoying interesting habit of running off to hide when she’s upset or hurt.  Which is what she did after she flipped over a wheeled office chair I keep in the kitchen.  She hit the floor quite hard but I was mostly concerned with her noggin.  Not feeling any kind of knot on her head, I decided to let her finish processing the incident and let her hide behind a chair in the living room.

After about 10 minutes, she’s still crying and it’s not quite like anything I’ve heard from her before.  There was an urgency to it.  John finally got her out from behind the chair and I gave her what I thought was a pretty thorough inspection.  I checked her arms, her head, her back.. I saw no redness, no swelling, no bruising. 

She stopped crying but there was definitely something wrong.  I thought maybe she’d bruised something that just hadn’t shown up yet.  I gave her some Tylenol and then she wanted up in my lap.  That’s when I figured out something was wrong with her arm.  I had looked at her arm; had bent the elbow, but didn’t see anything wrong and she didn’t react to me bending the elbow.  As I picked her up, I put my hands under her arms to lift her up and that’s when she screamed and I now understood what the crying meant.  She was in real pain and there was something going on beyond preschooler drama.  There was definitely something wrong but I wasn’t sure whether it was her arm, her shoulder or maybe even a broken rib.

I made the decision right there to take her to the emergency room.  Atlanta is blessed to have a great children’s hospital system that consists of three hospitals, numerous urgent care center, etc.  I took Phoebe to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta at Hughes Spalding.

This hospital is near Grady Hospital in downtown Atlanta.  The location isn’t too great, but the parking lot is secure and brightly lit at 10:30 at night.  They validated my parking and we were in and out in just under two hours.

The nurse we worked with immediately saw the swelling on her chest.  I hadn’t seen it, wasn’t looking for it.  But it was there and turning red.  An x-ray showed that Phoebe had a broken collar bone.

Next day, an orthopedic explained to me that the collar bone, or clavicle, is the most broken bone in the human body and is very thin in children.  But she also told me that children are amazing healers.  Within a month, the bone will reconnect and within about 8-10 weeks, the healing will be mostly complete.  Additionally, in children this young, within about a year, the bone will actually remodel itself to return to it’s normal shape and it will be almost impossible to tell that it was ever broken.

So my daughter is part Time Lord.

Meanwhile, I’ve got to keep her from reinjuring it.  Remember she is the Pink Tornado.  So no jumping, no playgrounds, no climbing, no nothing that will keep it from mending properly.  Her grandparents overnighted a cool wooden “paper” doll set that she loves and is helping to keep her entertained.

The hospital put her in a weird brace that held her shoulders back.  The orthopedic first put her in a standard arm sling with a waist strap to keep the arm immobile.  After our second visit, another practitioner suggested a shoulder immobilizing brace that is actually working a lot better.

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Tales of a Wannabe Domestic Goddess

Long before I had children and even before I was married, I said that the only thing domestic about me was that I lived in a house.  I hate housework and don't understand those souls who seem to derive so much pleasure from scrubbing toilets and washing baseboards.  So it surprised everyone including me and my husband when I became a stay at home mom.  Visions of June Cleaver, Carol Brady and Ma Ingalls filled my head - could I vacuum wearing pearls?

No, I'm closer to Morticia Adams than to any of them.  And this realization made me understand that I am seriously uneducated in the methods of home economics.

I'm not saying that I didn't know how to clean.  Everyone can take a rag and a bottle of cleaner and clean like crazy, but I was completely unprepared for the daily routines and just general busy-ness needed to maintain a home.

My mother worked at least part-time for a lot of my childhood so I don't remember her as housewife. And as I’ve mentioned before, she also hated cleaning and housework with her involved the whole family pitching in to get the house in order before holidays or before company came over.  I am a champion of crisis cleaning and can stuff more junk into closets and under beds than you can possibly imagine.

After I married, both John and I worked full time outside the home.  We'd tackle the housework in the same way that my mom did: long marathons just before company or when the kitchen was threatened with closure by the local sanitation department.  I tell the absolute truth when I admit to drinking milk out of a vase because we didn't have any clean glasses.

Once I became a full time mommy, I had to learn to do all those things.  I'm still learning.  My house is mostly clean and on it's way to being completely decluttered.  I have cleaning routines and I rarely crisis clean.  I still have a long way to go but feel like it's not overwhelming.

But for the record, we still call it "excavating" the kitchen.

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school age nightmare

I was a bright kid. In the first grade, I read on a 4th to early 5th grade level.  Instead of being challenged to read more and learn more, my teacher decided that I was a problem and separated me from other children. In the second grade, I had a teacher who was more understanding of my reading prowess.  However, when I refused to count to 100 - I got bored with the task at around 50 - she decided that I was bad at math and needed to...

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Conversations with my husband

Him:  What time is Phoebe’s dentist appointment? Me: 9 Him: AM or PM? Me: What do you think? This stuff just writes itself, fol...

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My kid is so talented

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Lies my mother told me.. part 1 of a million

There is not a screw in my belly button that keeps my butt from falling off. There is no way that potatoes can grow between my toes. A rat named Herbie does not live in my hair causing snarls. Speaking into my ear does not echo. A swallowed apple seed will not sprout into a full grown tree.  Doesn’t work with watermelon seeds either....

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Tummy trouble - the Revenge

I write this from the hospital.

Monday, I had a colonoscopy to follow up on the diverticulitis that I had back on April Fool's Day. But our story really starts on Sunday.

Sunday afternoon, I drank something I've decided to call "drano" for it's abilities to completely clean your digestive tract out. You drink this stuff and then it gets everything out. To be more explicit, you basically poop yourself silly.

It wasn't as bad as I imagined. I mean yeah you live on the potty for two hours or so. But there's no cramping, just the URGE.

Next day, Monday, I go for the scope. My doctors have their own endoscopy center and it was really nice. Overall, the procedure wasn't bad. They put you to sleep and the only discomfort is getting an IV put in.

I've discussed my bad veins before and they haven't gotten any better since the last time I needed one. It took them six sticks to get the IV in and it was the anesthesiologist who was successful.

I woke up from the scope feeling quite refreshed and STARVING!

Next day, Tuesday, I got up, fed the baby, cleaned the kitchen and then had a bowl of Cheerios with Phoebe.
Two hours later I was in pain. As fast as the pain started, it would stop. Then I'd get a reprieve of anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes. I can't tell you why I didn't call the doctor right away. I only know that I decided to eat very lightly that day. Dinner was chicken noodle soup and even that became torture as the day turned to night.

I finally called the doctor at 10:30 that evening when I was experiencing fever and chills. The doctor advised me to take tylenol for the fever and call the office next day.

After a terrible night of pain, I was advised to go to the emergency room. I was admitted to the hospital Wednesday and now, Thursday evening I'm still here.

They say that I've developed colitis most likely from the prep before the scope.

I hope I can go home tomorrow.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Wellstar Douglas Hospital

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Why we need to stop blaming people for losing their homes

When I bought my home in 2003, I was taken to task for my home choice. Why? Because I had researched what I could afford. I researched the areas I wanted to live in. I also chose to take a loan only for the purchase price, not the value of the property (which was significantly higher). Additionally, I opted for a fixed rate loan. I did a ton of research and knew exactly what I could afford and what I was willing to deal with. For my trouble,...

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Perfectionism or the Death of Creativity

I’ve been working on my son’s birth announcements for about 12 weeks now.  First, there was coming up with the perfect design.  I wanted something that would be cute but would also be really fun.  No standard blue booties for my kid. So I researched.  And researched.  Until I found a completely cute idea.  And detailed.  And very intricate. Oh, and I have to make 40 of them. Strangely, I thought I’d have more...

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Reading is fundamental

Few weeks ago, John got a new iPad.  He loves it.

But then the topic of what to do with his Kindle came up.  He wouldn’t really need it because he could use the iPad and the Kindle app to read his books.

So I took it from a couple of weeks ago.  Bear in mind, it’s only on loan and if he REALLY needs it back, I guess I COULD give it back to him.

Since getting it, I realized how much I miss reading.  I’ve loaded a few favorite books: Pride and Prejudice, the first three Anne of Green Gables books, The Boleyn Inheritance, the Bible, etc.  All books that I tend to read over and over.  I’d love to get a couple of the Harry Potter books and To Kill A Mockingbird, but they aren’t available on Kindle.

The thing is, I really enjoying reading this format.  I didn’t think I would because I LOVE books.  I love the smell.  I love the feel of the pages.  I love the sound of the pages turning.  I marvel at my abuse of paperbacks.  I can look at a book and tell how much I love it by how badly the book spine is broken.

I mostly read paperbacks if you can’t tell.  Hard backs are nice, but they are heavy and hard to stick in your purse.  The only problem with paperbacks is that they are only good for so much abuse before you’ve got to get another copy.  This little book reader however, goes neatly in the diaper bag. 

So I am happy to salt my words and eat them.  I still prefer physical books but this is an acceptable way to read.

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Recipe: Quick pizza lunch

This is a super quick and easy lunch. Also, is there a preschooler - or mama - that doesn't like pizza?

First, you need some sandwich thins. These are little rolls that you can get at your grocery store. There are several brands. I'm using Arnold brand.


Next, you'll need some sauce. I almost always have a jar of spaghetti sauce in my refrigerator but you could also use Alfredo sauce.

You'll also need toppings. Basically you could use almost anything leftover from your fridge. Chopped up lunch meat, left over chicken, fajita steak leftovers, whatever. Use your imagination.
I have a kid who loves pepperoni so I am using that to make a traditional pizza.

Add the cheese of your choice and voila! You're ready to pop it in the oven!


I cook these for about 12 minutes on 425 degrees. But my oven runs a little cool so adjust as necessary.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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Why yes I am liberal

A friend the other day was listening me rant about politics and asked, “Are you a Democrat or a Republican?”I replied that I was neither.And that’s the truth.I am however a liberal.Yep, I went there. I admitted to being a liberal.But here’s the thing: I think that our government should be big enough to make sure that our water is safe to drink, that our food is safe to eat, that our borders are secure, that our interests overseas are protected.I...

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Would you like some cheese with that WHINE?

I have decided I have to change my attitude. I’ve been tired and worn out and, well, just pissy for so many days now that I have got to do something else. So I have decided to focus on the positive. For example, instead of fussing that I only got 4 hours of sleep last night, I will get excited that I got those 4 hours IN A ROW and IN MY OWN BED!!  Because more often than not, I sleep in the recliner downstairs and Nugget sleeps either in...

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Not a happy camper

Small rant here. Friday, I spent the afternoon at the emergency room after experiencing very bad stomach pains. Turns out, I'm having a bout of diverticulitis. I was given antibiotics and pain meds and told to follow up with a gastroenterologist. I have a colonoscopy in my future. I'm also dealing with bad tendinitis in the thumb of my left hand - and of course I'm left handed so yeah it hurts to do almost everything. The trouble started about a...

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3 weeks...

"When he lay on my chest for the first time, part of me felt as if someone had given me a Martian baby.… Part of me felt like I was holding my own soul." - Anne Lamott

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For the love of C-Sections

C-sections are not exactly something that you think, “Gee, I hope my pregnancy ends in a c-section.”  You certainly don’t wake up in the morning WANTING a c-section.

But they aren’t bad things.

I didn’t know that I’d have a c-section with my first pregnancy – it just turned out that way because of a variety of reasons including: 1) baby was ginormous 2) I wasn’t dilated AT ALL 3) I was in severe pain from sciatica – so I had a c-section with Phoebe and it all worked out ok.

This time, I knew from the beginning that I’d have one because my practice doesn’t do VBACs (Vaginal births after c-sections) and I was ok with that.  I could have found another practice that would give me a chance to do one (a VBAC) but I felt comfortable with the idea and decided to stick with them.

For the most part, I am pleased with that decision.  However, that doesn’t mean that the c-section itself was in anyway pleasant.

Thursday morning, we left the house at 8:30 and headed to the hospital.  Because of the gestational diabetes, they wanted me there a full hour before other folks usually have to be there so we wandered in about 9AM, got checked in, changed into our surgical gear and plugged into an IV.

Then, we waited.  And waited.  And waited.

The primary OB showed up about 11 and said we’d go at noon as planned.  We were just waiting for the second OB.  Turns out when you have a repeat c-section, they need two OBs to do the surgery.  I’ve yet to really find out why, but Moo has an idea it has to do with the procedure that I’ll tell you about in a minute…

So they walk me into the surgical theater at HIGH NOON and I sit on the table, get into position for my spinal block and then wait.  After about 10 minutes, the anesthesiologist is FINALLY ready to put in my block and then things started moving.

Again, how can I explain how a block feels?  I can only describe it as the feeling of when your hand or foot goes to sleep.  You are aware of pressure but there’s no pain and you can’t really tell whether someone’s poking you with a scalpel or tickling you.

I describe the c-section in two parts: before they get the baby out and after they get the baby out.  Last time, the first part was almost pleasant.  This time?  Not so much.  I immediately got nauseous from whatever they gave me and I felt like I was suffocating for most of the surgery.  I still smelled the odor of cooking bacon – which just happened to be my flesh burning. 

I still felt intense pressure when they were getting him out.  But things seem to be MORE this time, more intense, more pressure.  Moo says that when they were getting the baby out, that both doctors were standing on little footstools pressing on my stomach with both hands.  This probably explains why I felt like I’d been in a car wreck the next day.

But there’s also the sweetness of the day.  The feeling of Moo’s hand in mine as they brought my child into this world.  The sound of his cries as he emerged.  The excited exclamations of the team at how beautiful this boy was.  The tears coursing down my face when they told me he was a boy.  The softness of his skin when they let me kiss his sweet little cheek before whisking him off to recovery.

So while I didn’t enjoy the process, I certainly appreciate the outcome.

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Introducing…

My new baby boy, Griffin Lee Saye.  He came into this world on Thursday, February 24 at 12:45PM.

He weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds and 12 ounces!!  And he’s 19-1/2 inches long.

Yeah, a big baby.

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Appreciation

With just a couple of days before this kid makes his debut, I’m trying to be appreciative of things. This was a completely unplanned pregnancy – Moo says it wasn’t since we weren’t doing anything to prevent it – but as you know, I didn’t think I could get pregnant again without drugs and crazy calendars and doctors involved.  But this is definitely the last pregnancy for me. I will be getting my tubes tied during Thursday’s surgery. ...

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38 Weeks: The day is nigh…

So I’ve not felt real good since Saturday.  Oh I wasn’t sick or anything over the weekend.  That was later. I’ve had what I call “Kitty Litter Nose” since the snow back in January.  You know, you feel like your nose is full of tiny rocks or glass or something?  And you blow it and it looks like a bloody mosaic?  (Sorry I can get a bit gross sometimes) I get this off and on and it’s mostly that my nose gets so DRY and if...

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How I’m learning to FLY

About 5 years ago, I found this chick online who calls herself Flylady. She can be found here and you can sign up for her daily emails and podcasts and watch videos and sign up for her branded version of a calendar program, etc. She’s also got products that she sells like special timers and scrubbers and books. Oh I hear you.. “But Amanda, it all looks like a big scam to sell me cleaning supplies” and I’ll admit that she’s definitely figured...

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Why I hate housework

Most of us learn about house cleaning and maintenance from our mothers and I am no exception.  My mother was a crisis cleaner.  This means that generally the housework was left until either A) we had company coming over or B) it was time to put up the Christmas tree.  There was also frantic panicked cleaning or stuffing things into cabinets and closets when my grandmother was coming – she wasn’t really considered company since she...

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37 Weeks

So here we are.  Less than two weeks before my scheduled C-section. YES!  LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!! I’m pooping my pants.  Hang on while I change them. Ok.. that’s better. So Tuesday morning, I wake up and my left wrist is killing me.  I mean really really hurting.  When I was pregnant with Phoebe, I had the same thing for the last month or so before she was born, except it was the right wrist. My hands and feet have been...

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Conversations with my toddler

I haven’t talked about Phoebe’s speech development in a while. Truth is, there isn’t much to say.  Not that there’s no improvement.  There is.  She’s talking up a storm.  Perhaps not on level with her age, but her vocabulary has greatly expanded and nearly every day I hear her say something new. Here’s a conversation we had this morning: Phoebe: Mama, juice. (what she calls fruit cups) Me: No, we’re going to have breakfast....

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35 Weeks

So yesterday was the beginning of week 35 and I spent it running to my perinatologist. My fasting blood sugar is still not up to par or rather down to par or .. WHATEVER.  So we went up on my insulin again. GAH! It feels like a personal failure.  I know that I’m watching what I eat.  I write down what I eat, so I KNOW what’s going in my mouth.  And I am CONSISTENTLY under the number of recommended carbs but my fasting blood...

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34 Weeks

5 weeks from today, I will be having a scheduled c-section.  5 weeks from today, I will be giving birth to a behemoth. Well, maybe not. I am now visiting the doctor’s twice weekly – my OB/GYN on Mondays and my beloved perinatologist’s office on Thursdays. The Monday visit consists of a consult with whomever I am seeing that week – remember, this is the practice with a dozen midwives and doctors – and a Non-Stress test.  The non-stress...

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The Lie of Motherhood

I was talking to a young woman the other day who is expecting her first child.  She sees me as something of an expert since I’ve had one and lived through it to get pregnant again.

She asked my opinion about strollers and wipe warmers and bottle sterilizers and such.  I told her the only gadget that I recommended was the Itzbeen Baby Timer because it covered all the bases with a newborn.

Why did I need such a thing, she asked.  So I explained that Moo and I had found that newborns are much like combinations with only 4 numbers on their lock.  These things are:

1. Feeding
2. Changing
3. Sleep
4. Holding/comfort

and that with this little timer, I knew what I had done last and could try something else if baby wasn’t happy.

“Don’t you just know what the baby will need?”

She has bought into the mystical mothering lie that we all buy.  Mothers are supposed to form a bond with their children so deeply that nothing else is like it.  And that part is true.

99% of the time, I know what Phoebe needs without her telling me – something that’s bitten us in the butt with her speech development – but I digress.  She wasn’t born with me having this knowledge nor was I born with the ability.  No magic wand of motherly pixie dust was sprinkled over me in the surgical suite during my c-section nor did a switch get flipped somewhere and I just KNEW what she needed.

When you are pregnant with or, for those of you adopting, preparing for your child, you think that when that child is placed into your arms for the first time that you will fall instantly in love with this creature. 

This is true for some women, but not all of us. 

We have this picture in our head that our child will look like pictures we’ve seen of ourselves or our spouses as newborns – the truth is very far away.  After all, you aren’t giving birth to a clone of yourself or your husband – you’re birthing a completely new and different person with their own mix from the gene pool.

So, we are handed this creature that we know is our child but doesn’t look like anyone we know.  All babies look vaguely larval to me - the same smooth features, mushed noses and squinty eyes.

This tiny creature is completely reliant upon you but doesn’t really know you that well either, but you smell familiar and your voice is familiar.

So we have this creature, we’re exhausted, our hoo-ha’s hurt or we have an incision, our entire life has just been turned upside down, our family dynamic has just changed, our marriage has just changed, our financial picture just changed.  You name it, it’s changed.

And somehow, we expect to have learned or acquired or been blessed with the magical glow of motherhood.

That, my friends is magical, mystical bullshit.  And I think it’s part of the reason why women have serious trouble with postpartum depression or babies are abused or neglected or why some women have so much trouble adjusting to motherhood. They feel like there’s something wrong or that they are personally missing something or the hormones tell them that the problem is the baby, etc…

Let me tell you this: I’ve talked to more than one woman that didn’t instantly feel that bond with their children.  I felt no huge bond to Phoebe when she was first born either.  But I think the difference is that somehow, either through friends or family or television, we found out or were told that it’s ok.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed when you have a newborn.  There will come a time when you are exhausted, you haven’t showered in a couple of days, the house is a wreck, all you seem to eat are sandwiches and you have this tiny creature who has needs and you are the number one person on the list who can fulfill them. 

It’s ok to wonder “what the hell have I brought upon myself?” at 3 in the morning when the kid won’t sleep.

I’ve been there and I expect that in a couple of months, I’ll be there again.  But what you learn is that you get through it.  You learn that everything will work out.  One day, you will look down at the baby and the baby will smile – even though you know it’s gas – and you will know that it’s worth it and, in that instance, that’s when bonding is really happening.

I have no scientific back up for any of this, of course, but I do know that the bond of motherhood and the love you feel for that child, your child, is something that you learn and experience every day as your child grows. 

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SNOWPOCALYPSE 2011

SNOMG!!

Picture it: Winter. Snow and ice in almost unseen amounts hits Atlanta. The interstates are shut down. People are stuck in their homes. I PERSONALLY missed 5 days of work.

People call for better preparedness. People call for more snow plows, more sand trucks, better planning for future events.

Think that sounds like the current conditions in Atlanta? No. I’m describing what was called the Storm of the Century in 1993. Here in Atlanta, we commonly refer to it as the Blizzard of ‘93.

My front yard is currently covered in about 5 inches of snow with about 1 to 1-1/2 inches of ice on top of that. The street in front is covered in the same ice. I’ve seen a couple of cars (usually 4X4’s) go by but we haven’t ventured out.

Additionally, temperatures haven’t risen above freezing since Sunday. So you add 6 or more inches of frozen precipitation with 5 days of below freezing temperatures and you have a mess.

Atlanta and metro area counties are being criticized for their preparation or lack thereof and are promising to be better prepared the next time.

Our own storm preparations have been quite successful. Moo’s been working from home as we’ve kept electricity and, more importantly, internet service throughout week. I went to the grocery store on Saturday and got our normal groceries along with an additional loaf of bread. I also roasted a turkey Saturday morning.

In addition to the turkey, I do one batch cooking session every week and this week was lasagna. Our recipe makes 4 good size lasagnas and we put the extras in the freezer. So far, we’ve enjoyed the fruits of previous sessions in the form of turkey enchiladas, chicken tacos, veggie beef soup, homemade cinnamon rolls, and the lasagna made this weekend.

Here’s the important part of this: an event like this or even close to this only happens in Atlanta every 10 to 20 years!! Before the storm of ‘93, there was the storm of ‘73 which also had people housebound for several days.

I barely remember that storm as I was only 2-1/2 at the time – the same age as my daughter now – but I recall my mother’s stories about us losing power and then regaining it a few hours later because our townhouse had a generator. My only real memories of that storm are because my grandmother, who lived a short distance away, came to stay with us after a few days because her power was out for nearly 3 weeks. She brought her little Toy Manchester dog with her and our cat, Muffin, hated that dog and would spit and yowl at it.

Also in my memory is the big storm of ‘82 when the storms hit late in the day. My father got off work at 3:30 and ended up finally home at 8PM after walking the last 7 miles home after the car got stuck.

My memories and experience is limited to the 40 years I’ve been on this Earth but I can tell you this - spending tons of money on snow plows and salt trucks as some have called for in the last couple of days seems a little like overkill in light of the fact that this kind of thing only happens every 10-20 years. This is one of those times when you need to prepare yourself and your family.

Figure out what you and your family would need if you couldn’t get out for a few days and start that way. You don’t have to spend a ton of cash or time on preparedness. A few frozen pizzas and chicken pot pies in the freezer and some firewood is all most folks need.

So folks, the moral of this story is this: we got through those other storms and we’ll get through this one.

Relax and try to enjoy it.

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