Tales of a Wannabe Domestic Goddess

Long before I had children and even before I was married, I said that the only thing domestic about me was that I lived in a house.  I hate housework and don't understand those souls who seem to derive so much pleasure from scrubbing toilets and washing baseboards.  So it surprised everyone including me and my husband when I became a stay at home mom.  Visions of June Cleaver, Carol Brady and Ma Ingalls filled my head - could I vacuum wearing pearls?

No, I'm closer to Morticia Adams than to any of them.  And this realization made me understand that I am seriously uneducated in the methods of home economics.

I'm not saying that I didn't know how to clean.  Everyone can take a rag and a bottle of cleaner and clean like crazy, but I was completely unprepared for the daily routines and just general busy-ness needed to maintain a home.

My mother worked at least part-time for a lot of my childhood so I don't remember her as housewife. And as I’ve mentioned before, she also hated cleaning and housework with her involved the whole family pitching in to get the house in order before holidays or before company came over.  I am a champion of crisis cleaning and can stuff more junk into closets and under beds than you can possibly imagine.

After I married, both John and I worked full time outside the home.  We'd tackle the housework in the same way that my mom did: long marathons just before company or when the kitchen was threatened with closure by the local sanitation department.  I tell the absolute truth when I admit to drinking milk out of a vase because we didn't have any clean glasses.

Once I became a full time mommy, I had to learn to do all those things.  I'm still learning.  My house is mostly clean and on it's way to being completely decluttered.  I have cleaning routines and I rarely crisis clean.  I still have a long way to go but feel like it's not overwhelming.

But for the record, we still call it "excavating" the kitchen.

Read More

school age nightmare

I was a bright kid.

In the first grade, I read on a 4th to early 5th grade level.  Instead of being challenged to read more and learn more, my teacher decided that I was a problem and separated me from other children.

In the second grade, I had a teacher who was more understanding of my reading prowess.  However, when I refused to count to 100 - I got bored with the task at around 50 - she decided that I was bad at math and needed to be put into remedial math which only bored me more than counting to 100 did.

My third grade teacher also saw me as a problem.  I was 4 grades ahead of the other kids in the class in reading.  She decided to send me to another class for half of each day for "enrichment" while maintaining that I had to complete all the work from her class too.  I was 8.  I got home from school, took a 30 minute break to tell my mother about my stressed out day and then got to work on 2-1/2 hours of homework.  After 2 months, I was mentally exhausted and told my mother that I "just wanted to be stupid like everyone else".

In fourth grade, I started getting bullied.  I had a great teacher that year but she seemed to have a blind eye for the boys in the class.  We were assigned seats in lunch and I was put next to a guy who delighted in telling me how he was going to rape and torture me every day.  I was in a reading class with two other students which was great because I got the challenge that I needed but it also meant that other students in the class called me teachers pet and teased me constantly.

Fifth grade was a comedy of horrors.  During this year, I was held down by two boys who each felt me up.  I also had two girls hold me down while a third girl hit me repeatedly.  None of these kids got in trouble for their actions.  Instead, I was told to be more careful.

My parents did not believe in designer clothing for young girls and this was when designer jeans were really first in fashion.  I so wanted that stupid swan on my butt.  So during fifth grade, all my differences were pointed out repeatedly by girls who made fun of my hair and lack of designer jeans.

So as you can see, much of what I learned in elementary school was not about the wonder of this planet or about humans at  their best, but about teachers who had no idea how to deal with me, or who wanted to dumb me down to the level of the other students.  I learned that being stupid was preferable to intelligence.  I learned that I wasn't allowed to say no even when I was being violated. 

Read More

Conversations with my husband

Him:  What time is Phoebe’s dentist appointment?
Me: 9
Him: AM or PM?
Me: What do you think?
This stuff just writes itself, folks.

Read More

My kid is so talented

Read More

Lies my mother told me.. part 1 of a million

There is not a screw in my belly button that keeps my butt from falling off.

There is no way that potatoes can grow between my toes.

A rat named Herbie does not live in my hair causing snarls.

Speaking into my ear does not echo.

A swallowed apple seed will not sprout into a full grown tree.  Doesn’t work with watermelon seeds either.

Read More

Tummy trouble - the Revenge

I write this from the hospital.

Monday, I had a colonoscopy to follow up on the diverticulitis that I had back on April Fool's Day. But our story really starts on Sunday.

Sunday afternoon, I drank something I've decided to call "drano" for it's abilities to completely clean your digestive tract out. You drink this stuff and then it gets everything out. To be more explicit, you basically poop yourself silly.

It wasn't as bad as I imagined. I mean yeah you live on the potty for two hours or so. But there's no cramping, just the URGE.

Next day, Monday, I go for the scope. My doctors have their own endoscopy center and it was really nice. Overall, the procedure wasn't bad. They put you to sleep and the only discomfort is getting an IV put in.

I've discussed my bad veins before and they haven't gotten any better since the last time I needed one. It took them six sticks to get the IV in and it was the anesthesiologist who was successful.

I woke up from the scope feeling quite refreshed and STARVING!

Next day, Tuesday, I got up, fed the baby, cleaned the kitchen and then had a bowl of Cheerios with Phoebe.
Two hours later I was in pain. As fast as the pain started, it would stop. Then I'd get a reprieve of anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes. I can't tell you why I didn't call the doctor right away. I only know that I decided to eat very lightly that day. Dinner was chicken noodle soup and even that became torture as the day turned to night.

I finally called the doctor at 10:30 that evening when I was experiencing fever and chills. The doctor advised me to take tylenol for the fever and call the office next day.

After a terrible night of pain, I was advised to go to the emergency room. I was admitted to the hospital Wednesday and now, Thursday evening I'm still here.

They say that I've developed colitis most likely from the prep before the scope.

I hope I can go home tomorrow.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Wellstar Douglas Hospital

Read More

Why we need to stop blaming people for losing their homes

When I bought my home in 2003, I was taken to task for my home choice.

Why?

Because I had researched what I could afford. I researched the areas I wanted to live in. I also chose to take a loan only for the purchase price, not the value of the property (which was significantly higher). Additionally, I opted for a fixed rate loan.

I did a ton of research and knew exactly what I could afford and what I was willing to deal with.

For my trouble, I was called a fool by both my mortgage broker and my real estate agent.

They knew that I qualified for far more. They knew that my payment would be HALF of what my mortgage payment would be if I took the adjustable rate loan. They said I was throwing away money that the banks WANTED TO GIVE ME.

Most folks didn't do the research I did. Most folks took their mortgage brokers’ and real estate agent's advice and took what they qualified for.

So if you're calling all those people who are losing their home irresponsible, greedy and self indulgent you need to think about the real problem.  I think the real problem was that the foxes were in charge of the hen house and the hens trusted the foxes.

Read More

Perfectionism or the Death of Creativity

I’ve been working on my son’s birth announcements for about 12 weeks now.  First, there was coming up with the perfect design.  I wanted something that would be cute but would also be really fun.  No standard blue booties for my kid.

So I researched.  And researched.  Until I found a completely cute idea.  And detailed.  And very intricate.

Oh, and I have to make 40 of them.

Strangely, I thought I’d have more time when I was in the hospital.  I remembered having a good bit of downtime when my daughter Phoebe was born and thought that would be when I’d work on them.

But I didn’t count on being INCREDIBLY tired and having a baby that wanted to stay up all night.   So with the exception of just a couple of hours, I slept when the baby slept.

But now I’ve been home with my darling boy for eight weeks now and I still don’t have them done.  Part of it just the sheer lack of time that I have. 

Having a newborn and a preschooler at the same time has been a completely different experience than the first go around.  For one thing, the older child is AWAKE during the day and during baby’s morning nap times.  At the other end of the spectrum is my son’s interesting evening schedule.

IT’s gotten better, but he’s still up until 11 or so every night and then up at about 3 or 4 AM for a couple of hours.  Then Phoebe gets up somewhere between 7 and 8 in the morning.  So while I’m getting between 4 and 5 hours of sleep, being awake from 3AM until 11PM is pretty tiring.

Oh I sometimes get a nap before Phoebe gets up and sometimes I can time everyone’s afternoon naps so that I can get one but it’s not leaving a lot of time for anything else.

So when I do have a few minutes I can dedicate to something crafty, I need something that I can get done quickly and can also drop in an instant if little man decides he doesn’t want to sleep.

Here's where the problem is.  As a perfectionist, I want to work on my craft and tweek and massage it and make it look just gorgeous.  This does not lend itself to being speedy.

So I procrastinate and wonder if I have enough time to work on a project.  I estimate how long it will take me to get my materials together.  I second guess the design I have in my head and I surf my favorite websites looking at ideas and examples.  Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and pretty soon, my son is waking up ready for a feeding or Phoebe is awake from her nap and wants a snack and I’ve lost the opportunity to get anything done.

Flylady says:

Perfectionism is when we decide that we can't do something because we won't have the time to do it "perfectly".

She is right.  I can’t do what I want because I’m afraid I won’t do it perfectly or I don’t have enough time.  I should just grab a couple of pieces and work on them and be done.

So that’s my challenge.  What about you?  Does perfectionism keep you from doing what you want?

Read More

Reading is fundamental

Few weeks ago, John got a new iPad.  He loves it.

But then the topic of what to do with his Kindle came up.  He wouldn’t really need it because he could use the iPad and the Kindle app to read his books.

So I took it from a couple of weeks ago.  Bear in mind, it’s only on loan and if he REALLY needs it back, I guess I COULD give it back to him.

Since getting it, I realized how much I miss reading.  I’ve loaded a few favorite books: Pride and Prejudice, the first three Anne of Green Gables books, The Boleyn Inheritance, the Bible, etc.  All books that I tend to read over and over.  I’d love to get a couple of the Harry Potter books and To Kill A Mockingbird, but they aren’t available on Kindle.

The thing is, I really enjoying reading this format.  I didn’t think I would because I LOVE books.  I love the smell.  I love the feel of the pages.  I love the sound of the pages turning.  I marvel at my abuse of paperbacks.  I can look at a book and tell how much I love it by how badly the book spine is broken.

I mostly read paperbacks if you can’t tell.  Hard backs are nice, but they are heavy and hard to stick in your purse.  The only problem with paperbacks is that they are only good for so much abuse before you’ve got to get another copy.  This little book reader however, goes neatly in the diaper bag. 

So I am happy to salt my words and eat them.  I still prefer physical books but this is an acceptable way to read.

Read More

Recipe: Quick pizza lunch

This is a super quick and easy lunch. Also, is there a preschooler - or mama - that doesn't like pizza?

First, you need some sandwich thins. These are little rolls that you can get at your grocery store. There are several brands. I'm using Arnold brand.


Next, you'll need some sauce. I almost always have a jar of spaghetti sauce in my refrigerator but you could also use Alfredo sauce.

You'll also need toppings. Basically you could use almost anything leftover from your fridge. Chopped up lunch meat, left over chicken, fajita steak leftovers, whatever. Use your imagination.
I have a kid who loves pepperoni so I am using that to make a traditional pizza.

Add the cheese of your choice and voila! You're ready to pop it in the oven!


I cook these for about 12 minutes on 425 degrees. But my oven runs a little cool so adjust as necessary.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Read More