Only child

I am an only child.

So far, my daughter is an only child. Our fertility journey with her was not as painful or arduous as others' journey. But it made an impression on me that I will not soon forget and I am thankful for that impression.

Why am I thankful? Because I don't know that I would be as grateful for my daughter as I am now. She is a miracle. She is my miracle.

But as I said, she is an only child and will probably remain that way. I have said that I don't want to make a decision on whether to try again until Phoebe is at least a year old.

I asked my mother one time why she only had one child. She told me because she felt that she couldn't give another child everything that she could give to me. I never understood it. I thought she meant material goods.

But now I understand. How can I give another child the same love and attention and TIME that I am giving Phoebe now? My heart has plenty of room - I learned that when Phoebe was born. But what about time and attention? How can I possibly give another child that without depriving Phoebe?

As I said, I'm not making any hard and fast decisions until July. But it's always at the back of my mind.