Not making a decision

Moo and I decided way back around November or December of last year that we would wait until after baby girl was a year old to make a decision about whether or not to try to have another child.

It really is strange to phrase it that way. It took us two years of trying to get baby girl. I monitored my cycles using a crazy fertility monitor, tracking software and thermometers for over two years in the hopes of getting pregnant. It finally took reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and a couple of rounds of Glucophage to get pregnant.

So having known my history, you would think that we would have to go through the whole thing again if we want another child. I have to admit, Glucophage was not kind to me. I had really bad gastrointestinal side effects with it and almost gave up on it.

Moo and I have talked about this subject over and over again and I think he's gotten tired of it. His attitude is and always has been that if we are supposed to have children then we will. I have always been more the controlling type - I know you are absolutely shocked to know that I am a control freak. So his relaxed attitude about this of all things drives me round the bend.

So it comes to this: we have decided not to decide. This is quite a feat for me. I, who plotted my cycles, took my temperature every morning, endured that dreadful Glucophage all with my eye on increasing the chances of getting pregnant, have decided to relax and see what happens.

So we aren't doing anything to increase our chances but we aren't doing anything detrimental either.

I put a time limit on this too: no matter what, I'm getting "fixed" in two years or when I deliver another child whichever happens first.

It's strange, but making this decision is strangely freeing. I am still using the TCOYF software because I can plot out my cycles. Otherwise I can never remember dates. Sure other people use a calendar but I'm a gadget person and like this better.

But as I said, it's strangly freeing. I am keeping my mind off of it and this will likely be one of the last times I discuss it - at least until I get spontaneously pregnant or get "fixed".