What if?

What would happen if we couldn't have children?

I've thought about this - seems like people ask me what other alternatives we'll consider if we can't - so it's not a totally new query for me.

First and foremost, I'm unwilling to do anything drastic to get pregnant. By drastic, I mean that I'm not willing to do In Vitro fertilization. My reasons are:

1. It's too damn expensive and there's not a great chance that it would work. There's never a guarantee that if you get pregnant that you'll carry the pregancy to term. But with IVF, the best that you can hope for is a 30% CHANCE of even getting pregnant. Additionally, it's 10K to 15K for EVERY attempt.

2. Sometimes I think that if God meant us to have kids, that he'd make it easier. And while I'm always overjoyed at the success of others with IVF, I feel like we will accept this decision of the cosmos if that's what it is.

I kid my husband that if we can't have kids on our own that I'll go to Guatemala and adopt a kid (or two!) and can't he just visualize the Christmas card from John, Amanda and the kids Pedro and little Guadelupe?

The truth is that we'll be happy whether we are given children or not.

I have been blessed beyond all others with my marriage. My parents didn't have an inkling what it meant to be married happily. They never were. But I am.

John and I are suited to each other exactly. He says that there's no one else like me and that he's happy that I am with him! I think that he's perfect in every way and I long to be a better person and better wife so that I'll be worthy of him and his love.

Ours is a marriage that I think will be complimented by children.